The 2112 (Near North Campus) Ghetto Party
 *Yearly "private" outdoor music festival in July (or then abouts)
  I'm not sure what it's actually know as -- ask Kyle.  I know it ain't some 
  Rush tribute thing, 2112-2116 N. High is the address of this courtyard 
  apartment ("the Ghetto") festival site.  It's basically a bunch of big 
  Stache's/Bernie's scenesters and bands entertaining each other.  Usually a 
  great time, great music and (ick!) beer.  And his year I'll experience it 
  as a resident for the first time! - Joel

The Caffe Fino Series
 *Jazz jam and other shows
  So some important people at the Union had some money to put into some shows. 
  Sure I said I'll take it.  But seriously, the Caffe Fino Thursday Night Jazz 
  Jam ended up being the most successful, longest lived, of the series.  In 
  the beginning, there was classical guitar on Monday, acoustic music on 
  Tuesday and blues on Wednesday also.  Mondays and Tuesdays were dead.   
  Wednesday did O.K. with Tim Easton and friends doin' their acoustic blues/ 
  folk/country, but only the Jazz Jam got the powers-that-be vote.  It went on 
  for a couple more quarters, but without me or all that money ... - Joel  

The Columbus Arts Fest
 *A Downtown Riverfront Street Fair
  Lot's of Arts/food/info booths and stands set up on the street and two live 
  music/performance stages (if not more).  Of course, nearly everything is too 
  expensive for the average Joe milling about aimlessly to even consider
  buying -- that goes fer the food too :-/.  The music is usually to easily 
  digestible - no guts; and the audience doesn't seem to care much. - Joel

ComFest (The Community Festival)
 *Hippies, hippies, hippies, Goodale Park, last week of June
  Ah, sweet ComFest. This 20-year-old tradition started as just a hippie 
  festival on campus, but has grown into a hippie festival off-campus.  :-)  
  It's a fair/fest for the more earthy freaks -- the hippies, the activists, 
  the dead heads. But for those of us more urban freaks, there's an air of 
  openness you might not expect -- anybody can have a booth there, and for 
  cheap ($20 for the first 10 feet, $10 per 10 thereafter)... and sometimes it 
  seems like anyone does have a booth. You'll find the standard food vendors 
  and trinket sellers, but also political causes, massage therapists, art 
  galleries, and even record labels.

  Music comes via a main stage and usually a secondary stage. The main stage is
  for the big name local stuff (and maybe one national and one regional act). 
  The secondary stage is for smaller things; this last year required that these
  acts be acoustic, poetry, or just plain quiet (which is unfortunate, I 
  think). They have had an "arts tent" in the past which allowed for smaller, 
  noisier performances. Getting onto one of these stages can be a game of 
  knowing the right organizer, unfortunately.

  Security is handled by a rotating volunteer force of people who also work at 
  the individual booths. Clean-up is handled the same way. In a way, that makes
  it a "self-policing" event. The festival starts on the last Friday of June & 
  continues through Sunday, lasting each night until midnight.  We usually make
  a weekend out of it, and it's always a blast. Long live ComFest! - Mark G.

 *Community festival run by older scenesters
  Not hippies, just call 'em older scenesters.  It's a three day weekend of 
  arts, info and music for the whole family (maybe).  A lot of "hip" people -- 
  or at least they think they're hip. But it is a good time. - Joel

Columbus Underground Music (CUM) Fest
 *Heavier big draw bands from the Bernie's & Stache's scene
  Basically the heavier local bands that commonly pack Bernie's or Stache's on 
  weekends.  I think it's going to change names this year and be held at both 
  said places on a Friday and Saturday night.  The shows usually start up 
  around 8, if not earlier, and go to 2am or so.  That's like 6 or 7 big bands 
  per venue per night!  Usually held around April 1 -- REALLY! - Joel

Dinosaur Jr./My Bloody Valentine/Scrawl at the Ohio Union
 *The best drawing Union show in years before or since
  It had been years since OSU/SEC (the Student Events Committee) had sponsored 
  a show that sold well on campus - other than the heavily promoted, co- 
  sponsored shoe-in stadium shows.  This was a near sell-out before the doors 
  opened -- back when CD101 first started and was more alternative.  101 played
  all these bands -- especially Dino Jr -- on a regular basis.  I like to think
  this radio outlet was largely responsible for the great turn-out; and a great
  argument for getting student radio at OSU.  I mean think of all the money to 
  be made by bringing in cheap, but popular, college radio bands Mr. Treasurer.
  Anyone listening?  Ah, but the OSU cops say no moshing ... or alcohol.  
  Welcome to a big city college Mr. Fuzz.  Ever seen Footloose?  There's music 
  to worry about.  If ya don't wanna deal with it, go to a dry country town 
  where yer job ain't outdated. 

  Anyway, back to the show ...  The police and SEC found a discrepancy in the 
  seating capacity.  While hundreds of people waited patiently outside for an 
  hour or more, police records stated only 1000 people, not SEC's 1200 figure. 
  So we could say the show was sold to capacity -- sold out -- but people who 
  had been told there were still tix available were going to find out otherwise
  -- even the two at the front of the line.  The show started quite late, then 
  came curfew time.  Police started telling kids to get out and go home.  One
  kid's parents had even called to make sure this would not be a problem -- and
  was told it wouldn't be.  This evicted kid ended up with a free T-shirt and a
  full refund -- cool, I guess.  Oh, the show was said to be pretty good, but I
  couldn't really tell from the door.  The bits of MBV I saw were trippy bits 
  of pretty noise with a lava lampish backdrop -- groovy man. - Joel

Nowhere Fest
 *Yearly celebration of bands that haven't gone anywhere
  Yes, the bands that play this have gone nowhere.  Some have been going 
  Nowhere for years and years and years.  Most deserve to go nowhere.  Stick to
  the Trashfest -- at least it's supposed to be bad and made fun of. - Joel

The Ohio State Fair
 *The Largest Fair in the World -- Really!
  Yep, it's bigger than Texas'.  There was a time when I didn't miss the Fair. 
  Continuous with that was the few years I worked there.  Soon after that, I 
  started avoiding the place.  Thanks to the Fair, I've been paid to see the 
  Oakridge Boys 6 times -- 7 if ya count the freebie Boy Scout show.  The last 
  few years have been shaky for fair organizers.  It's mostly family, if not 
  just country, oriented music; lot's of farm animals; lots of Midway rides, 
  games and spectacles; food; and both city and country folk seeming a bit out 
  of place, yet in place.  The Dairy Barn Ice Cream is about the only thing I 
  miss -- that and that cute Lemon Shake-Up girl ... :-)  - Joel

Red, White, and FUCK YOU!
 *Punk-ass event of attitude, Site varies; last year was at Milo 
  Red, White, and Fuck You, offensively titled though it may be, is nonetheless
  a four-year-old anti-patriotic tradition. Just after the US slaughter of 
  Iraq, it dawned on someone (ahem) that the July 4th celebration would be a 
  totally unbearable display of patriotism and rubbish that year, even more so 
  than usual. There was a site somewhat close to the main fireworks which was 
  sort of an abandoned industrial site, where only a foundation & I-beams from 
  a building remained. We rented a power generator, set up music equipment, and
  played an alternate soundtrack to the fireworks -- RW&FU was born.

  It was pretty successful, and has continued for four years. Last year's
  event was moved to Milo to allow for better bathroom facilities, power, etc. 
  It seems likely at this point that next year's will be there too. The events 
  are never publicly advertised; it's purposefully done that way to keep it 
  underground (and under mild control). If you're wanting to attend, just ask 
  any freak with odd hair colour when & where it is -- they'll know. - Mark G.

The Skinny Puppy Show
 *An Industrial Show at the Newport
  I don't remember the date, though I probably have the ticket stub somewhere, 
  and I know I saved the article too. Skinny Puppy, that wacky premier 
  industrial band from Vancouver, played at The Newport for the nth time, where
  n is somewhere around 5. They were nothing new to Columbus, but this time 
  things were different.

  Unbeknownst to a black-clad crowd, as Skinny Puppy was going through their 
  last numbers the police were lining up outside. Why? Was there going to be 
  trouble? Were they expecting a riot? Yes! And THEY were going to CAUSE IT!

  Skinny Puppy ended, and the crowd exited very quietly. It was hardly the 
  type of concert to make you wanna go out and riot or fuck things up; the
  crowd seemed to be like most crowds I've seen exiting most concerts from
  the Newport. Until we got to the front door.

  Lo and behold, a gaggle of police officers! And the smell of fresh tear gas  
  in the air! What was going on? Did we miss some action? We exited pretty 
  quickly; anything we missed would've had to have happened before the end, I 
  would think. No, we didn't miss anything; WE were IT. And they tagged us with
  tear gas. It was hardly to "discipline" an undisciplined crowd; nobody was 
  shouting or breaking anything. It didn't matter; the police wanted some 
  exercise, and they used the crowd for punching bags. The main force we saw 
  were the seven unfortunates who were picked at random to be arrested.

  I wasn't among them, but I talked to one at length afterwards: Curt Schieber,
  a reporter for a local weekly entertainment/news magazine.  I've known Curt 
  for a while, and he's certainly not your Nine Inch Nails worshiping rabble-
  rouser. You would probably look at Curt and pigeon-hole him as an aging 
  hippie. Curt saw the action going on as he exited the show (which he was 
  reviewing), and was able to tell what was (and wasn't) going on. The police 
  were telling everyone to move on, and threatening them if they didn't. Curt 
  told me that he know that he would probably get arrested if he didn't, and 
  decided that he'd go for it -- if they arrested him, how could anyone believe
  they were going after some real trouble-makers?

  They arrested him and six others. Curt wrote the cover story for the next 
  issue, telling the story of "The Skinny Puppy Seven". It remains my 
  favourite article from local media to date. - Mark G. 

The Super Duper 4th of July Party
 *Yearly "private" backyard 4th celebration
  Similar to the 2112 Ghetto party, but as ran by the silly Super Duper guys 
  and their friends/favorite bands.  It's not necessarily on the 4th, but it's 
  close. This is where Wilfoster of Clay once played naked while his pants 
  soaked in the baby wading pool and his underwear fried on the grill. - Joel

 *Bad un-bands playing with a Holiday theme for a benefit
  Only bands that aren't really bands are permitted to play the Trashfest.  It 
  happens just before Christmas, tens of non-bands sign up to intentionally 
  embarrass themselves all for the benefit of a homeless charity. - Joel

Wexner Center Student Association Arts Fest/Fair
 *Student-oriented art and music in the out-of-doors
  I was heavily involved with these.  Last year, the 4th one I think, was 
  rained out.  It has featured a small selection of (usually student) art work,
  crafts and wares, a few student related info tables, and a large variety of 
  live performances (if I do say so myself).  The day starts unamplified, but 
  goes amplified (including punk) after 5pm.  It's usually in May  - Joel

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